A breakup means the opportunity to undergo a major struggle; and to become stronger and wiser. The experience and recovery from a breakup will - once processed fully - help you grow and develop into a more confident and resilient person.
To do that though, you will need to both trust that things will get better, and find real ways to move forward.
Trust That Things Will Get Better
There’s an ancient Persian saying that goes, “This too shall pass…”.
What does this mean? It means that all material conditions, good and bad, are transient - nothing lasts forever, especially not feelings of hurt, confusion, and hardship.
Even when you’re at rock bottom, remember this saying, and find a small kernel of yourself that believes this particular moment is only temporary.
“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live,” Dumbledore once pointed out to a young Harry.
Experiencing a breakup means wondering how things could have been different, what we did wrong, and how on earth all this could have happened. We wonder if it’s possible to get our old life back, and are sometimes haunted by regrets.
And yet, while healthful reflection is good, it doesn’t help you to focus solely on what could have been.
Look at the beautiful things that you do have in your life now. And don’t stop there. Envision what you want to experience in the future, focus on that vision, and welcome it as it takes shape.
As psychologist and writer, Dave Richo says, “Always be on the lookout for your deepest feelings, wishes, and needs, and act in accord with them.”
Look to the Horizon
“If you truly want to recover from your breakup,” says an article in Huffington Post, “there comes a time when... it’s time to pick yourself up off the floor, dust yourself off, and start your new life.”
It takes both trust and courage to move forward. Know that you have both those qualities inside you. You have the power to create the life you want, and the skills to develop the life you deserve.
Article I and II Summary: In the first installment of this series, we discussed the importance of letting your feelings emerge, and effective methods for processing those emotions. In the second installment of this series, we looked at the importance of reaching out for help when you need it, and the benefits of making mistakes.