Has your ex been saying unkind things about you to your child? Has your child brought home reports of untrue accusations or negative comments?
Are you completely frustrated by this - and wondering what to do?
You’re not alone. Being talked about by the ex is common for single moms - but that doesn’t stop it from being one of the hardest things to experience.
“Hearing the distorted accusations of your bitter ex-spouse from the mouth of your own child is painful and terrifying,” says one article in the Huffington Post.
So, how can you deal with negative accusations from your ex, in a way that’s proactive, painless, and gets you real results?
First, Empathize With Your Child
Take a deep breath. The first three things to do are to stay calm, gently correct the misinformation, and acknowledge how hard it must be for your child to hear negative things about one parent from the other.
“Validate your child’s experience,” says Divorced Moms, “but do not validate the negative words.”
Provide reassurance, listen openly and neutrally, and offer an invitation to come to you with future worries or concerns.
Never Assume… Anything
Remember, the information you are hearing is coming from your child - and sometimes youngsters simply get the facts wrong.
“...children sometimes distort, misremember, or fabricate. If your daughter eagerly reports that your usually reasonable ex ‘called you mean and ugly,’ take a breath and consider the source.” suggests the Huffington Post.
You Got This
Trust that you have the power and strength to come through this with positivity and resilience. Remember that negative things your ex might say reflect on his insecurities and worries - not yours.
While it’s extremely hurtful to hear unkind words spoken about you - especially delivered by your child; letting them roll off you and being a strong force of positivity will help both you and your child come through to the other side.
