There are not many things harder than being alienated from your child. It is an incredibly challenging, stressful, and even traumatic experience for a single parent to go through.
And yet, there are real, actionable steps that you can take to deal with this situation. Your proactive attention can have extremely positive impact on your relationship with your child - not just today, but for years into the future.
So, how can you deal with parental alienation? Let’s take a look at some smart steps you can take.
3 Powerful Steps to Take When Dealing with Parental Alienation
First, simply by reading this article, you’re taking real, powerful action towards dealing with any alienation issues. The next thing to do is to follow these three, essential steps.
First, Document Your Concern
Create a journal and write down anything that worries you. Include dates, times, and details. After a month has gone by, take a look at your log, and note how frequently instances occur, and the seriousness of each incident.
“It is possible that putting this list together can shed light on the situation and help a parent see that the situation is much better or worse than originally thought to be,” says an article in The Attached Parent.
If you choose to seek professional help in the future, your list will be essential in defining the depth and seriousness of the parental alienation that’s taking place.
Next, Maintain Your Standards
Never lower your standards, or behave in a manipulative way towards your child or ex. Don’t speak negatively about your ex in front of your child, try to persuade your child that your ex is wrong, or retaliate simply to punish your ex.
Lowering yourself to the level of your ex will only give them fuel to stoke any false accusations or blame; create more pain, confusion, and hardship for your child; and will only set a poor example to your youngster.
Your job is to maintain the same stellar parenting standards that you always have, and to love your child as deeply as ever. Your child needs you to set an example of a mature, strong, caring mom. Take the high road - no matter how challenging that might be.
Now, It’s Time to Get Support
The American Academy of Pediatrics states that, “alienation of a child and the targeted parent is a frequent problem that needs practical professional input to correct the negative effects on all parties.”
Because it can cause psychological harm to children, it’s important to seek out professionals skilled at dealing with the specific issues of parental alienation. If you’re seriously concerned about parental alienation, then it’s time to turn to the experts.
Wondering where to turn for help? Psychology Today provides some outstanding listings for family therapists and counselors, and they’ll even help you find a professional that fits your insurance plan or price range. If you’re looking for legal aid, here are some great tips for finding a lawyer within your budget.
Stay Strong, Even When Things Get Tough
As a parent, being alienated from your children is devastating. That’s why it’s important to seek help, to remember that there is hope for the future, and to surround yourself with friends, family, and a community who stay by your side through this tough time.
Remember, you’re not alone. There are successful, thriving moms who have been through what you’re going through now. By giving the problem attention, time, and care, you’re doing a beautiful thing for your child, yourself, and your family.
Never forget that you are an awesome and inspiring mom - and you deserve the very best, most loving relationship with your child.
Want some friendly support from moms like you? Check out the Bonfami community - where you can find like-minded single-moms who cheerlead you through the great times and the tough times alike.
Summary of Parts I and II: In part one of this series, we looked at some of the different forms parental alienation might take, in part two, we look at ways parental alienation is harmful to children.
