Going through a breakup can feel earth shattering. You are not only experiencing the loss of a love, but also a major shift in your way of life.
Sometimes, a breakup can even seem to threaten your sense of identity - especially if you and your significant other’s lives were deeply intertwined.
Needless to say, breakups are stressful.
In fact, on the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, an established psychological tool to evaluate stress; “Divorce,” and “Marital Separation” are the second and third most stressful events, respectively, in human life.
That’s right - the second and third most stressful events in human life.
That kind of major stress affects every part of you - from your physical health to your emotional well being, your sense of self to your social interactions.
So, how can you cope with that kind of earth-shaking sense of loss?
By taking steps that nurture all the different parts of yourself - you can more quickly deal with a breakup - and come out on the other side healthier, happier, and stronger.
Prioritize Your Whole Self
Focus on these four areas of yourself and emerge from your breakup more resilient than before.
Physical
Going through a breakup can affect you physically. In fact a 2011 study found that when participants looked at photos of their ex-partners, parts of the brain usually associated with physical pain lit up.
Combat the pain by treating your body well. Being active releases endorphins that lower your stress levels, improve cognitive functioning, and boost your mood.
Get plenty of sleep each night and eat highly nutritious foods that support your physical health. If you can, go a step further and book a massage, take hot baths each evening, or sign up for a yoga class.
Social
Research shows that regaining a clear sense of self after a breakup is key to healthful recovery. And one of the best ways to do that? Connecting with friends and family.
Prioritize your social circle, accept invitations, and make a point to meet friends for coffee. Spending social time can help you gain perspective, ground you when life feels unpredictable, and research has proven that meaningful relationships with friends and family increase your happiness.
Emotional
It goes without saying that a breakup will hit you hard emotionally. Remember that feelings of sadness, anger, grief, and loss are all natural - and even healthy - parts of a breakup.
“Try to let yourself feel what you feel, without judgement,” says an article in the Huffington Post, “...avoiding your emotions will ultimately prevent you from moving past them.”
Keep a journal where you can write it out or see a therapist where you can talk through your experiences. Giving yourself a safe space to feel those feelings will allow you to fully process them, so you can healthfully move on with your life.
Spiritual
Feed your spiritual self: in whatever way that means to you. Whether it’s walking in the woods, attending a religious service, or maybe simply meditating for a few minutes every morning. Connecting to something that feels bigger than you will help to ease the pain of a breakup.
And taking some time for your spiritual self can do something else that’s important - it can help us notice the things we’re grateful for. Studies have shown that listing things you’re thankful for can boost your well-being and brighten your outlook on life.
Nurture Your Whole Self & Emerge Resilient
Too often, we think of breakups as purely emotional. And yet, breakups affect our whole selves.
By nurturing each part of yourself, you’ll emerge on the other side of your breakup stronger and healthier than before.
Summary of Part I: In the first part of this series, we talked about giving yourself time to grieve, and the importance of moving forward with your life.
