As a single mom, you are awesome at parenting.
You know how to make your child feel better after a rough day at school, you cook the best dinners, and you know when the perfect bedtime is on a school night.
You also have boundaries, and your child knows what’s okay and not okay to do.
But, what happens when your child spends the week at dad’s house, where there’s a different bedtime, different food, and maybe even totally different rules and boundaries?
Finding consistency between two homes is one of the biggest challenges of co-parenting. After all, you both have your own, unique way of living; and so it’s only normal that things should be different.
However, “Consistent parenting contributes to a child’s well-being,” says one article.
Having a similar schedule, diet, expectations, and boundaries helps kids find a sense of normalcy in both homes, and makes it easier to adjust when children are heading back and forth from mom’s house to dad’s house.
In this three-part series, we’ll take a look at a couple ways to start creating consistency for your child.
Focus on Simple Things
Finding consistency can feel overwhelming. And yet, you don’t have to do an overhaul of your lifestyle to find common ground. Even the most simple things can create consistency for your child.
Maybe you and your ex both agree to read bedtime stories each night. Perhaps you can agree to a similar diet for your child. Or, maybe you both feel strongly that homework should be done right after school.
By finding some simple things you agree on, you’re already creating common ground, and making two-home living easier for your child.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Remember, children are resilient. If there are differences between mom’s house and dad’s house, your child will be able to adjust.
“If you can’t find a place of agreement, try to let go and accept the disparities rather than creating more tension in your relationship,” says an article in the Huffington Post, “Children will adapt to differences in Mom and Dad’s homes and come to accept that as a reality.”
Take Small Steps Towards Consistency
Consistency won’t happen overnight, and it certainly doesn’t mean turning your world upside down so that it looks just like your ex’s.
Instead, achieve consistency by taking small, intentional steps. The most gentle adjustments can make a huge difference for your child’s wellbeing.
Summary of Parts II and III: Part two of this series focuses on bridging the divide between the two homes, and in part three we discuss the importance of communication when building consistency for your child.
