When you are going through a divorce, there is nothing more stressful to think about than money.
It’s one of those things that seems completely outside your control - and it’s hard to even know where to start. In fact, the thought of splitting finances with your child’s other parent may even feel as daunting as the thought of managing all on your own.
In this three-part series, we’re looking at some key ways of dealing with money after divorce. Let’s take a look at two more methods of managing your money, and of sharing costs skillfully and easily.
Build A Process
“Experts suggest coming up with a system that seems reasonable to both co-parents,” says Dupage County Family Law Firm.
After divorce, some parents split finances based on their income level. Others split general costs evenly, while paying for individual activities or expenses during the times they’re with their child. Some parents choose to pay out of pocket for things they feel strongly about - for instance, if one parent wants their child to see a special concert or take horseback riding lessons, that parent might foot the bill for that activity.
Whatever you choose, devising a system ahead of time will help you prepare for future financial events and situations - so you won’t have to deal with negotiations in the heat of the moment.
Be Flexible
Children change, develop, and grow. And your finances will evolve along with them. That means sharing the financial responsibility for your child after divorce takes endless flexibility.
The Dupage County Family Law Firm points out that, “Instead of looking for a perfect solution, co-parents most importantly need to be flexible, prepared for change, and willing to compromise.”
Be willing to explore new processes, and accept changes with grace. Most importantly, don’t sweat the small stuff; remember that finances between parents don’t usually come out perfectly even - and that’s okay. Staying flexible will reduce your own stress level, and is healthy not just for your own peace of mind, but for your child’s happiness.
Let Your Finances Evolve and Improve.
As the days, months, and years go by, you and your child’s other parent will have financial situations that shift and evolve with your child. As time passes, you’ll likely fall into a rhythm and routine that works for your unique situation.
Be patient and curious about ways to manage and facilitate money, and trust that you’ll find a groove that works for you both. Remember that implementing even simple processes while remaining flexible can dramatically enhance your parenting experience.
Summary of parts I and III: In part one of this series, we talked about how to communicate about your finances, and the benefits of keeping your expenses organized. In part three, we’ll talk about discretion and ways of reaching out for financial support.
